It’s six months since my little nephew died.

On the 17th December 2016 my little 8 year old nephew died after a brief fight with illness following a strep throat which triggered a very rare and fatal syndrome called HLH (Hemophagocytic Lymphohistiocytosis). The easiest part of parenting is talking to other parents about how very hard it is to be a parent. The…

What a Divine Moment…

A moment ago my sister shared the sweetest photo of her baby on a swing on our family WhatsApp group. His smile is huge, you can’t help but smile back! I wanted to reach through the lense and ruffle his tufty blonde head. Our conversation quickly turned to how, as adults it’s hard to reclaim that sense…

Confounding Symptoms. If only…

My father was a neurosurgeon, and he made mistakes. If he had been more of a machine and less human, was never tired or sick himself and always made the right decisions, there are still vast swathes of unchartered territory in the medical understanding of how our bodies work. To put it simply, what makes…

‘Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable?’

On Sunday morning, right at the end of the service, I was overcome with tearfilled anger towards God. During prayer another congregant was giving thanks for some of the elderly who have recently recovered from illness and surgery. It was the words “You are a God who heals” that got me. I do know He…

Unspeakable grief – when our words fail: The Word.

It has been six weeks since my previous post and that’s because words lost all meaning when my sister called me to tell me there was no more hope for her little boy.  Then the sounds and words that came from my mouth are not ones I can rewrite. There is nothing that anyone can…

The Waiting Game

I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Psalm 23 Such a simple phrase and so easy to say but Oh so very difficult to put into practice. Each time I contact my sister to get updates on my young nephew in ICU my heart feels like it is being squeezed tight and all…

To Life, l’chaim!

A TALE OF TWO STAGES  What does the opera ‘Vanessa’ and the musical ‘The Fiddler on the Roof’ have in common apart from an engagement toast followed by a dance, a plethora of females, a tragic ending and heaps of singing? The answer is not much. When it comes to chalk and cheese, Vanessa has the…

The Mystery of Parents

When you are very young, say up to the age of 7, or maybe 10 if you are lucky, your parents seem perfect. Your Dad tells the funniest jokes and is definitely the strongest Dad in the neighbourhood, maybe even the world. Your Mum smells the loveliest and gives the best hugs. They can do no wrong….

At the Table

I remember the first time we sat around my parents’ dining table after my father died. Apart from him we were all there. Nobody sat in his chair, nobody spoke about it who should or even whether we should. It didn’t feel right. Actually nothing felt right but most especially us without him. How horrible and…