About Parenthood, Exploring Faith, Grief and Loss

Fear, Anxiety and Worry- the three false lovers I’m breaking-up with.

For the sake of my kids and society at large I am practiced at putting on a brave face but I am struggling a lot at the moment; every now and then the facade cracks and I spill awkward tears before strangers. These past six months have been a dark time and possibly the name… Continue reading Fear, Anxiety and Worry- the three false lovers I’m breaking-up with.

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About Parenthood, Exploring Faith, Grief and Loss

It’s six months since my little nephew died.

On the 17th December 2016 my little 8 year old nephew died after a brief fight with illness following a strep throat which triggered a very rare and fatal syndrome called HLH (Hemophagocytic Lymphohistiocytosis). The easiest part of parenting is talking to other parents about how very hard it is to be a parent. The… Continue reading It’s six months since my little nephew died.

About Parenthood, Grief and Loss

What a Divine Moment…

A moment ago my sister shared the sweetest photo of her baby on a swing on our family WhatsApp group. His smile is huge, you can't help but smile back! I wanted to reach through the lense and ruffle his tufty blonde head. Our conversation quickly turned to how, as adults it's hard to reclaim that sense… Continue reading What a Divine Moment…

Grief and Loss, Project Write

Confounding Symptoms. If only…

My father was a neurosurgeon, and he made mistakes. If he had been more of a machine and less human, was never tired or sick himself and always made the right decisions, there are still vast swathes of unchartered territory in the medical understanding of how our bodies work. To put it simply, what makes… Continue reading Confounding Symptoms. If only…

Exploring Faith, Grief and Loss

‘Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable?’

On Sunday morning, right at the end of the service, I was overcome with tearfilled anger towards God. During prayer another congregant was giving thanks for some of the elderly who have recently recovered from illness and surgery. It was the words "You are a God who heals" that got me. I do know He… Continue reading ‘Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable?’

Exploring Faith, Grief and Loss

Unspeakable grief – when our words fail: The Word.

It has been six weeks since my previous post and that's because words lost all meaning when my sister called me to tell me there was no more hope for her little boy.  Then the sounds and words that came from my mouth are not ones I can rewrite. There is nothing that anyone can… Continue reading Unspeakable grief – when our words fail: The Word.

About Parenthood, Exploring Faith, Grief and Loss

The Waiting Game

I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Psalm 23 Such a simple phrase and so easy to say but Oh so very difficult to put into practice. Each time I contact my sister to get updates on my young nephew in ICU my heart feels like it is being squeezed tight and all… Continue reading The Waiting Game