A Cord of Three Strands…

Gosh, I just realised something – I think I inadvertently told a few lies when I got married!! I’d better tell my hubby and apologise (it’s been over two decades of deceit, hope he understands). I seem to remember that I promised to love him UNconditionally, for better or worse, ’til death, or something to…

It’s six months since my little nephew died.

On the 17th December 2016 my little 8 year old nephew died after a brief fight with illness following a strep throat which triggered a very rare and fatal syndrome called HLH (Hemophagocytic Lymphohistiocytosis). The easiest part of parenting is talking to other parents about how very hard it is to be a parent. The…

Wise Whys

  The ‘Why’ questions used to be cute. Well to a point, if I’m totally honest. I wasn’t very good with the ‘why’ response to my tenth answer on questions about the universe and other complicated things. In those discussions I felt as if I was slipping on a downward spiral into a pit of futility….

‘Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable?’

On Sunday morning, right at the end of the service, I was overcome with tearfilled anger towards God. During prayer another congregant was giving thanks for some of the elderly who have recently recovered from illness and surgery. It was the words “You are a God who heals” that got me. I do know He…

From Darkness into Light

It happened again last night and it starts like this: Drifting off into a dream patch I am gripped by a vivid image and with a swooping gut sensation I’m dragged into wakefulness. Then the worst of the stuff in my head starts to ooze to the surface. Thoughts blup up in ever increasing black ugly bubbles. The errupting fumes wend…

Unspeakable grief – when our words fail: The Word.

It has been six weeks since my previous post and that’s because words lost all meaning when my sister called me to tell me there was no more hope for her little boy.  Then the sounds and words that came from my mouth are not ones I can rewrite. There is nothing that anyone can…

Another year older, another year wiser?

Christmas – a time of reflection, family, faith and a baby. I was thinking how a lot happens in 365 days and it made me wonder just how many babies are born each year. (Two arrived to two of my siblings so they are in part responsible). I did a little bit of an online…

The Waiting Game

I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Psalm 23 Such a simple phrase and so easy to say but Oh so very difficult to put into practice. Each time I contact my sister to get updates on my young nephew in ICU my heart feels like it is being squeezed tight and all…

Deep despair, deeper grace.

There are some nights when sleep eludes me and the thoughts of all I’ve left undone enlarge themselves until the pressure of their weight heats me up to the point that I have to throw off my bedclothes. Then in the bathroom I run the cold tap ’til it’s icy and drink straight from the spout. Last…