Writer Number Four


Many thanks to Tara Sparling, most excellent of writers, as the idea for this post was inspired by her latest blog Mr McGuffin’s Plot Device and Writer Unblocking Emporium. If you read hers first what follows below will make more sense.

Another woman enters the shop, she is wearing a baggy t-shirt and a pair of tracksuit bottoms. She looks exhausted. Mr McGuffin wrinkles his nose at the odour of sour milk and, is that scrambled egg crusted on her knees?

Writer 4: I need some drugs

Mr McGuffin: I think you may have the wrong shop my dear.

Writer 4: Um, no. I read about you on the internet chatroom when I was feeding the baby. They said you could help me.

Mr McGuffin: What then is it you are looking for exactly?

Writer 4: Something to boost my confidence, maybe to take me back a decade or two?

Mr McGuffin: Mm you’ve left it quite long, I have something under the counter but it’s fairly potent. You will need to take it everyday for at least half an hour.

Squinting he reads the label.

Possible side effects include loss of grasp on reality, invisibility of present surroundings and people. Contraindicated for breastfeeding.

Writer 4: The half an hour a day could be a problem but I’ll take it, I’m desperate.

Mr McGuffin looks away as her eyes begin to well up.

Writer 4: *Gasp* Is that the time? I was meant to be at the playschool to fetch my older two kids 45 minutes ago! And the baby – where’s my baby – I can’t remember where I left the baby!!

She dashes out of the door yelling hysterically. Mr McGuffin sighs as he wipes off the dusty bottle left behind on the counter top. Not yet, he thinks to himself, but some do come back.





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